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“....there is something seductive in what they do that has me addicted and rushing out to friends, saying, “You've GOT to listen to this!“ -bill's music forum

“...off-the-wall sensibilities that work well....” -parasites and sycophants.com

"More often than not they come up with something that at times borders on the magical." - Sam Shepard

"All of a sudden, it's quite apparent just how well these songs are working." - Jon Worley

"A Vibrant New Album: I imagine it goes without saying that I listen to a lot of albums. That said, "love at first listen" is a decidedly rare occurrence - I doubt it happens more than four times a year. The alt-country stirrings and diverse influences on "Jam Tarts in the Jakehouse" the sophomore album from Chicago's The Bitter Tears (March 3 on Carrot Top) made it easy to fall for this upbeat and quirky record." - Ryan Spaulding (Ryan's Smashing Life)

"The Bitter Tears actually pull it off without making me want to strangle and rape them to death." —Swan Fungus

"... thank God for the creative, uber-feisty cabaret edge on this local band's country-fried rock 'n' roll" Chicago Tribune Feb.11th, 2008

Yellow is the color blog reviews our show in D.C.- June 10, 2007 by elyzabethe

“Isn’t this the home of Dischord Records? … Shouldn’t you guys have some balls?”

The above is a taunt from the lead singer of The Bitter Tears, after no one in the audience would join in an improv game during one of the band’s songs that involved shouting out a preposterous situation to be followed by the band’s barbershop-quartet style chorus “That’s whyyyyyy I couldn’t come home last night” (Example: “I was murdered at the bar .. That’s whyyyy I couldn’t come home last night,” or, Best Example: “I was donkey-punched by Barack Obama at the bar … that’s whyyyy I couldn’t come home last night”).
Went to see Califone at The Rock and Roll Hotel last night, but Califone (who was headlining) was far outshone by it’s opening band, The Bitter Tears.
The Bitter Tears do this whole costume business. I think they switch it up at different shows, but last night we had: a dead bride, a live bride, a cat, a Sherlock-Holmes-style detective, and a trombonist dressed as if he was attending a gay pride parade in the 1980s but also wearing a bride-style headband and a handlebar mustache (he’s a complicated man, we decided). I was wary of the gimmicky-ness when they first came out (and somewhat terrified by the creepy faces made by the creepy lead singer/bride), but they turned out to be really good! They have a cellist and a trombonist, and they sound a bit like the Decemberists. And they were just a lot of fun, really campy and energetic and over the top. Most fun performance I’ve seen in a while. I felt sorry for their lead band for having to follow them.

Courant.com, June 06, 2007
Califone and the Bitter Tears at the Iron Horse

It's June, which means it's peak wedding season.But no one wants to marry the demented bride, especially when she's actually a guy in a wedding dress, fronting a band playing songs about impregnating fruit and getting murdered in a bar.The band is the Bitter Tears, a Chicago quintet fond of vaudevillian rock songs laced with tongue-in-cheek, often surreal lyrics. The group performed Tuesday night at the Iron Horse Music Hall in Northampton, opening for fellow Chicago band Califone. Bitter Tears singer Alan Scalpone, in the wedding gown, eyes rimmed with red like some cross-dressing Miss Havisham, sang in a deep, slightly unhinged tone, accompanied at various times by guitar, piano, bass, drums, trombone, kazoo and slide whistle. He wasn't the only eccentric on stage: Band mate Greg Norman sported a drawn-on fu-manchu mustache and wore a Chicago Bulls jersey tucked into short, tight jean shorts that didn't quite close in the front. Bassist Michael McGinley donned a woman-size lavender shirt barely buttoned across his chest.
Califone was less peculiar to look at, and hypnotic to listen to on songs that seemed to transcend time to exist on some different plane by themselves.

Punk Planet #71, December 2005
Chicago’s got a new contender. Brought up by sideshow gypsy warriors, acid-folk progressives, and genius Broadway composers, this group of strapping gentleman are out of the gates and elevated onto some next level shit. Orchestrated in madness, wits, and a sense of humor, I’m placing all my bets on the Bitter Tears. (BM)

www.petecroke.com, Top 10 Records of 2005, Dec. 16, 2005
4) The Bitter Tears: The Grinning Corpse Who Went To Town (roydale records)
...This record is by far the Cindarella pick of 2005 as far as my list goes. The Bitter Tears explore various styles of music over witty lyrics and the end result is pure genius. Its a bit country, a bit pop, and throw in a waltz and/or a polka jam here and there, mix with a horn section, and you begin to have the workings of a Bitter Tears song. Their site proclaims "yes, people think we're retarded. we've noticed. we like dead genres and have nothing in common with radiohead. beg us to stop why dontcha?" I, for one, will not be begging them to stop anytime. If not for being from Chicago, I would never have heard this record, and I am absolutely delighted that I did. I usually am not a fan of bands that make me LOL while listening to them, but when you hear "Peter Pan donkey punched me.... in the bar", you can't help but crack a smile. Disturbing sexual moves aside, I am very excited to see what The Bitter Tears has in store for the future, and for those of you who live in Chicago, seeing them live is an absolute requirement. Do them a favor and buy their album on Itunes, or at least check out their website and see when they are playing next.
Album highlight: "Murdered At the Bar"

Illinois Entertainer , Feb. 1, 2006
Given having fun seems to be as important to The Bitter Tears as making music, it’s kind of hard to categorize what their 11-song debut is all about in a few words. The group’s absurdist (and at times frat boy) lyrical point of view, eclectic choice of instrumentation, and classic psychedelic/garage leanings give them a delightfully crossbred pedigree, which, since they’re already appearing on more major act billings, perhaps best positions them as a new, improved, and less-politicized Chumbawumba?
– David C. Eldredge

The Chicago Reader, The Meter, Nov. 25, 2005, Local Release Roundup:
Onstage these punk vaudevillians often look like a half-assed circus sideshow -- the guys might wear Daisy Dukes or ruffled gowns with their three-day stubble, and sooner or later somebody's bound to dress up as a pregnant pirate or a zombie rugby player. Their colorful, obnoxious music augments rock instrumentation with piano, strings, accordion, and a wagonload of horns, from baritone sax to oboe. They call it "fucked-up folk," which is at least half right -- it isn't exactly folk, instead touching on everything from 70s action-film scores ("The Marriage Hole") to sotto voce children's songs ("Grieving"), tear-in-your-beer twang ("Spark of Pleasure"), and Mexican corridos ("Mandaria"). The Bitter Tears are less self-consciously wacky than Ween -- they feel genuinely weird, more in line with a cult band like Jon Wayne. Plenty original, if not always listenable.

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